I wish I could open a cafe where all we would serve would be clotted cream tea, breakfast tacos (vegetarian only, of course), and giant muffins. And coffee too, of course! Oh, and I also fantasize about having a little inn attached. Oh, and also a little fine art movie theater. All in front of a cobblestone street.

Black & White are the anchoring colors of our great room (if you can call it that). My mom was kind enough to make us some valances for the windows out of this great black and white material she found online. They really add so much character in the room.

I didn’t want to continue with the same look from our condo in Austin here at the townhouse in Iowa City. I wanted to go lighter as well as have more variety in colors. I love black and white, which I feel provides a good sense of neutrality without being bland. I also love sage blue, greens, whites, and yellows. Here is some of what I have managed so far. The official Iowa City look:

The blue corner table for display (a hand me down from my parents):

(too bad about the cable wire, huh?)

The floating shelves and side table (I love the blue stemmed lamp, which I think I got at Kmart, though I can’t remember for sure).

These prints in our dining area used to hang in the study in Austin. But since they are menus, I thought they worked well here. Supposedly this a Minneapolis restaurant. All hail the midwest!

And that is that. For now.

I have always had a vision of my children going off to either some fancy private school decked out in a plaid and crisp, white, button down shirts OR some arty hippy waldorf/montessori type school where they would grow vegetables and go on nature hikes for science class. But here I am just this week sending my only child off to kindergarten at the neighborhood elementary school. A red brick, flag out front, no plaid skirt midwestern public school. And I kind of like it.

My own memories of public school in my small midwestern hometown are mostly positive (we all know Junior High can be a challenge and for a many of us high school is as painful as it is formative). I vividly remember stickers on my homework, fruit roll ups in my sack lunch, tetherball on the playground, being chased by boys at recess, the excitement of back to school shopping for supplies and clothes. One year I got a new pair of saddle shoes and a poodle skirt. The 50’s were in for eight year olds. One year it was florescent everything. I had an enormous bright orange bow to wear in my hair on the days I wore my florescent yellow sweatshirt. I love my locker, my bookbag, my sharpened pencils. I know these things are as common in any private school across the country but there is just something so pleasantly American about that neighborhood public school with all it’s flashcards and spelling bees and Pledge of Allegiance. Every morning when I drop her off and see her little self absorbed into the flurry of 5-11 year olds, I feel almost patriotic. Like I’m in a Norman Rockwell painting.

If I had the funds it is very possible we would be sending Dulcie to the city’s private school, but we don’t. And it’s ok. I’m good with it. I like her school. I’m excited to be a room mother. I’m excited to go to PTO meetings. I am excited to get to know her new friends and their parents and be part of making it a special place for my daughter to do some growing up. I believe in public education and I feel good about being part of it.

We bought a lot of things to keep you warm and dry
And a funny old crib on which the paint wont dry
I bought you a pair of shoes
A trumpet you can blow
And a book of rules
On what to say to people when they pick on you
cause if you stay with us youre gonna be pretty kookie too

Will you stay in my lovers story
If you stay you wont be sorry
cause we believe in you
Soon youll grow so take a chance
With a couple of kooks
Hung up on romancing

–david bowie, from “kooks”

I finally found myself a job. And it seems like a good one–part time, good pay, good experience, local. I’m excited about it. And nervous. Of course I’m nervous. Being in the mental health field means doing things by an inexact science. translation: maybe we don’t really know what we are doing. And that is kinda scary. But i think I’m a good counselor. I know I have a lot to learn, but I have the basics down and I’m sort of made for it. I’m a great listener. I have a genuine interest in other people and their stories. I want to help them. But mostly I know that I’m just a guide to help people help themselves.

My little girl will be turning five in two weeks. That means she’s going to be in kindergarten this year. That means she no longer qualifies as a toddler. That means she’s growing up! It’s crazy. I forget so much about these past five years, but I clearly remember her birth and those first few days we had together. It took me awhile to get used to the idea that I had a child–that the baby they pulled out of my womb, that tiny baby, the one crying next to me–she was mine. My baby. And I was her mother. I didn’t feel like a mother the moment I saw her but it didn’t take long for me to love the way it felt to have her in my arms, to know I was her greatest comfort in the world.

Last night as we lie on the bed waiting for the purple polish to dry on her toes she asked me to ask her questions to pass the time. Like what her favorite animal was. (giraffe). Her favorite color? This time she said purple. Her favorite number? Four. I asked her what her favorite thing to do with Daddy was. “Play the bug game!” she yelled (it’s a silly computer game). I then asked her what was her favorite thing to do with mommy. “Snuggle”, she answered. Ah, mommies are best for snuggling. Someday she won’t feel that way, but it is nice to know I have at least a little while longer.

Yesterday I set out on a 30 minute walk and it turned into 40. Go me! I’m starting small, people. I’m ok with that. But I do hurt some today. the walk included hills. Plus I don’t have the best walking shoes. Oh well, I’m going to live with them. Kid’s got a birthday party coming up and all our extra money goes to spoiling her.

Speaking of the kid, she is the “star of the week” for her daycare/pre-school next week which means she gets a big bulletin board dedicated to photos of her plus a little questionnaire posted. The questions are such: favorite food, favorite place to visit, favorite color, what I want to be when I grow up.
Favorite food = applesauce
Favorite color= purple
When I grow up I want to be= a mermaid.

Yes, she thinks you can grow up to be a mermaid. I have to admit I sort of cringed writing this. I do wish she would write doctor or president or zoologist or computer genius, but she’s a little girl who loves fairies and mermaids and all things princess and who am I to crush her dreams? I did subversively attempt to get her off the mermaid answer by questioning how a fish tail might be grown, but the only thing she was concerned about was missing me. Would I be able to live in the ocean too? No, sadly. It’s a good thing I don’t really have to worry about this.

We are doing good with our morning routine. I haven’t set the alarm for 8am (keep forgetting) but we’ve been getting up around that time anyway. And brushing and dressing are taking place upstairs. I don’t know why this is an important goal for me. It just feels more organized and together to get ready before heading down for breakfast then me lugging clothes and such downstairs. Maybe I’m being crazy.

Breakfast is still being consumed in front of PBS morning programming, but I’m letting it slide because it gives me some morning computer time and Dulcie is really attached to this established ritual. When we were at Grammy’s house last weekend she had to educate Grammy on this. “I eat chocolate toast and watch cartoons, Grammy!” Perhaps when kindergarten starts and we are all getting ready at the same time we can have some morning family time chowing down toast, bagels, and cereal. Dulcie loves her nutella covered toast. Mark likes peanut butter slathered bagels. And I’m pretty partial to cereal or oatmeal.

Writing. Well, that’s not really happening. I get distracted too easily by cleaning. Hey, the week isn’t over.

My goal for this week is to instill some new habits and discipline into my life. Big ones & little ones. Dulcie will be starting kindergarten in about a month. Life feels like it is changing in a big way. Hopefully I’ll be starting a new job soon. And I’m already living in another state with a whole new life and routine. It’s time to get things right before they get really wrong.

Big one: wake up earlier & rework morning routine. Which includes the little goals of: setting the alarm for 8am (I’ll make it earlier as time goes on), getting the kid dressed and brushed (teeth and hair) before going downstairs, and feeding the kid her breakfast at the table instead of the bad habit of setting her breakfast before her as she watches morning cartoons.

Big One: Make self write an hour a day.

Little one: make the bed every day.

Big One: Get out walking 3 times a week.

Little one: stretch in the morning. Just stretch. That’s easy.

Hey, it’s all pretty easy it’s just a matter of habit and discipline. Perhaps I need to write myself a big note and stick it on the fridge. GO WALK. STRETCH. WRITE. DO IT.

Tomorrow is a new day with new opportunities for better habits.

I can’t believe how many times I have been to my hometown, Dixon, IL, since moving to Iowa. Again, it’s always nice to be there. And it gives me the opportunity to take numerous photos of my mother’s garden flowers. When the seasons change I’ll be able to get more nature variety. But flowers aren’t a bad subject. Right? Right.

Summer in the midwest feels so different than Summer in Texas. Like 20 degrees different! It is a wonderful change. One can really enjoy the summertime here. Even when it is humid it is okay with me. 85 and humid is a dream compared to 102 and humid. Boy, I don’t miss that. I might miss breakfast tacos galore and better movie theaters and better movie choices and good Tex Mex (Queso!!!) but not the summer heat. Of course once it gets to January and I’ve had a few months of cold then I’ll miss Austin a lot more. I’ll miss 60 degrees in January, yes. I do look forward to snow and mittens and scarves but I know that novelty will wear off after the snow melts and the roads are slushy dirty and that it-is-so-cold-my-insides-hurt feeling happens. But for now, I’m enjoying a nice midwestern summer. An after the floods nice midwestern summer.

There is a lovely little boutique in town called Dulcinea which if I was richer and thinner would buy out. They have some neato beneato dresses. I have bought three things from them ever: a 50 dollar purse back in 1996 (I still have it), my 150 dollar wedding dress from April Cornell, and my latest purse which cost 35 dollars. I buy about one purse a year and mostly from Target. This was a splurge for me.

I’m also very happy that I put that tote from Garnet Hill on my Christmas wishlist a couple of years ago. My sister bought it for me and I have been able to use the crap out of it lately, especially for trips to the farmer’s market and the library.

And finally, my favorite chocolate chip cookies which I made recently for a neighborhood party.

I found the recipe at recipezaar, #38041. Lots of butter and sugar and vegetable shortening always do the trick, right?

This girl is always my favorite. She’s loving her new goggles, replacing her old goggles lost at a pool party. No more chlorine red eyes at swimming lessons!